Grieving the Old Man: Letting Go of Who You Were to Become Who God Called You to Be

Some things have to die for you to live. And I don’t mean the dramatic, Hollywood kind of death. I mean the kind that hurts, that shakes your soul, that makes you question everything you thought you knew about yourself. That’s what it feels like to grieve the old man.

The old man is everything you’ve been holding onto that God is ready to bury: the patterns, the sins, the self-lies, the comforts that have kept you small. It’s the you that thought surviving trauma was enough. The you that thought coping counted as thriving. It’s the you that’s about to meet the new you, the one God’s been whispering about behind closed doors.

Romans 6:6 says, “Knowing this, that our old man is crucified with him, that the body of sin might be destroyed, that henceforth we should not serve sin.” Let me be blunt, your old self is done. And yes, it hurts. Mourning the old man is messy. It’s the heartbreak of realizing that the comfort zones you thought were keeping you safe were really chains keeping you small.

And then comes Ephesians 4:22-24: “That you put off concerning your former conduct the old man, which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.” That’s God saying: it’s time for a wardrobe change. Out with the old, in with the divine. But you can’t put on what you don’t mourn. You have to let go. Really let go.

Here’s the gut punch: grieve your old self without shame but grieve it. Cry if you have to. Rage if you have to. Sit in the silence with God and say, “I’m ready, even if it hurts.” Because transformation isn’t gentle. It’s wrestling with who you were so you can rise fully into who you’re meant to be.

And hear

not about punishment. It’s about freedom. Deliverance doesn’t come in whispers; it comes in moments that shake you to your core and leave you gasping for the new life God has been waiting to give you.

So, are you ready? Are you willing to grieve the old you, the one who tolerated, the one who doubted, the one who settled; so, you can step fully into the one God created in righteousness and true holiness?

It’s going to hurt. It’s going to be beautiful. And when you rise on the other side, you won’t just be different, but you’ll be free.

Journal prompt: What part of your old self are you holding onto, and what would it look like to hand it fully over to God today?

Prayer: Father, I release my old man. I release the lies, the habits, the comfort zones that have held me back. Renew my mind. Renew my spirit. Make me fully who You called me to be in righteousness, in truth, in freedom. Amen.